Do Virgins Taste Better?
Lyrics by Randy Farran, music Traditional
Performed by Brobdingnagian Bards on A Faire To Remember

A dragon has come to our village today.
We've asked him to leave, but he won't go away.
Now he's talked with our king and they've worked out a deal.
No homes will he burn and no crops will he steal.

Now there is but one catch, we dislike it a bunch,
Twice a year he invites him a virgin to lunch.
Well, we've no other choice, so the deal we'll respect,
But we can't help but wonder and pause to reflect.

Do virgins taste better than those who're not?
Are they salty or sweet or more juicy or what?
Do you savor them slowly? Gulp them down on the spot?
Do virgins taste better than those who're not?

Now we'd like to be shed and many have tried,
But no one can get through your thick scaly hide.
We hope that someday, some brave knight will come by,
'Cause we can't wait around 'til you're too fat to fly.

Now you have such good taste in your women for sure.
They always are pretty, they always are pure.
But your notion of dining, it makes us all flinch,
For your favorite entree is a barbecued wench.

Now we've found a solution, It works out so neat.
If you insist on nothing but virgins to eat,
No more will our numbers grow ever so small.
We'll simply make sure there's no virgins at all!

Background by Marc Gunn: Fantastic parody of the Irish Washerwoman. The song quickly became a hit among filkers and rennies alike. Now, we've taken it one step further, out into the world of mp3.com, where it has been in the Comedy top 20 since 2001. For the answer to the question, look below...

The Dragon's Retort
Lyrics by Claire Stephens McMurray, music traditional, arranged by Gunn-McKee
Performed by The Brobdingnagian Bards on A Faire To Remember

Now, I am a dragon. Please listen to me.
For I'm misunderstood to a dreadful degree.
This ecology needs me, and I know me place,
But I'm fighting extinction with all of me race.

Well, I came to this village to better me health.
Which is ever so poor despite all me wealth.
But I get no assistance and no sympathy.
Just impertinent questioning shouted at me.

Yes, virgins taste better than those who're not.
But my favorite snack mixed with peril is fraught
For my teeth will decay and my trim go to pot
Yes, virgins taste better than those who're not.

You see I'm really quite kind almost all through the year.
Vegetarian ways are now mine out of fear.
But a birthday needs sweet so I'm sure you'll agree.
And barbecued wench tastes like candy to me.

As it happens our interests are almost the same.
You see I'm really quite skillful at magic and game.
If I ate just your men, would your excess decline?
Of course not, the rest would just make better time.

Now, the number of babies a woman can bare,
Has limits, and that's why my pruning's done there.
And an orphan's a sad sight, and so when I munch,
I'm careful to eat only virgins for lunch.