Johnny Jump Up
Lyrics and Music Traditional
Performed by Queen's Gambit on Pawn to King Four

I'll tell you a story that happened to me
One day as I went down to Cork by the Lee.
The sun it was hot and the day it was warm,
Says I, "A quick pint wouldn't do me no harm."

I went in and asked for a bottle of stout
Says the barman, "I'm sorry, the beer's all sold out.
Try whiskey, try Paddy, ten years in the wood."
Says I, "I'll try cider. I've heard that it's good."

Oh but never, no never, no never again
If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten.
I fell to the ground and I could not get up
After drinking a quart of that Johnny Jump Up.

After downin' the third I went out to the yard
Where I bumped into Brody, the big civic guard.
"Come here to me boy, don't you know I'm the law?"
Well, I up with me fist and I shattered his jaw.

He fell to the ground with his knees double up
But it wasn't I that hit him, 'twas the Johnny Jump Up.
The next thing I remember down in Cork by the Lee
Was a cripple on crutches and says he to me,

I'm afraid of me life. I'll be hit by a car!
Won't you help across to the Celtic Knot Bar?
After downing a quart of that cider so sweet
He threw down his crutches and danced on his feet

Oh but never, no never, no never again
If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten.
I fell to the ground and I could not get up
After drinking a quart of that Johnny Jump Up.

I went up the lee road, a friend for to see.
They call it the madhouse in Cork by the Lee
But when I got there, sure the truth I will tell,
They had this poor bugger locked up in a cell.

Said the guard, testing him, "Say these words if you can,
'Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran'"
"Tell him I'm not crazy. Tell him I'm not mad.
It was only a sip of that cider I had."

Oh but never, no never, no never again
If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten.
I fell to the ground and I could not get up
After drinking a quart of that Johnny Jump Up.

A man died in the mines by the name of McNabb
They washed him and laid him outside on the slab
And after the coroner, his measurements did take,
His wife took him home for a bloody fine wake.

Twas about 12 o'clock and the beer was high
When the corpse he sits up and he says with a sigh,
"I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up,
'Til I bring 'em a quart of that Johnny Jump Up."

Oh but never, no never, no never again
If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten.
I fell to the ground and I could not get up
After drinking a quart of that Johnny Jump Up.

Additional Verse
So if ever you go down to Cork by the Lee
Stay out of the ale house and take it from me
If you want to stay sane don't you dare take a sup
Of that devil drink cider they call Johnny Jump Up.

Background by Daniel Womack: Probably written in the 1920s or 30s. According to Jimmy Crowley, "'Because of the general shortage of materials during the first World War cider was stored in casks which had been used for maturing whiskey. The cider drew the spirit from the wood and the result was 'Johnny', a cider so potent, as the song tells us, that it was a sure ticket to heaven. 'Up the Lee Road' implies much more than it says to Cork people, as the Mental Hospital is situated up there." I'm in no position to doubt the words of Jimmy Crowley here.