Crayfish
Lyrics and music traditional
Arrangement by The Bedlam Bards
As Performed by The Bedlam Bards on Take Out the Trash


Fisherman, fisherman, 'fore you put to sea.
Do you have a crayfish, that you would sell to me,
By the wayside, AYE - Diddly - Di - Do.

Yes sir, yes sir, now that indeed I do,
I've got a little crayfish I'd gladly sell to you,
By the wayside, AYE - Diddly - Di - Do.

So I took him home and I thought he'd like to swim
So I filled up the chamber pot and I threw the bugger in,
By the wayside, AYE - Diddly - Di - Do.

Late last night sure I thought I'd have a fit,
For my dear wife got up to (wash her face),
By the wayside, AYE - Diddly - Di - Do.

"Oh, husband! Oh, husband!" She cried out to me,
"The devil's in the chamber pot and he's got hold of me!"
By the wayside, AYE - Diddly - Di - Do.

Children, children, grab the looking glass
Come see the crayfish that bit your mother's (face)
By the wayside, AYE - Diddly - Di - Do.

Children, children, now did you hear the grunt (Unh!)
Come see the crayfish that bit your mother's (nose)
By the wayside, AYE - Diddly - Di - Do.

Well that's all there is and there isn't anymore,
I've an apple in me pocket and you can have the core,
By the wayside, AYE - Diddly - Di - Do.

Background by Daniel Womack: This song has been sung in a variety of ways using various lyrical versions and quite possibly many different musical versions as well always with similar words or at least a very similar story since the early 17th century. In fact, here is a version of the song called "The Sea Crabb" from Bishop Percy's Folio Manuscript: Loose and Humorous Songs edited by Frederick J. Furnivall (c. 1625-1640) with the lyrics modernized in spelling for easier reading:

It was a man of Africa had a faire wife,
Fairest that e'er I saw the days of my life

With a ging, boys, ging! Ging, boys, ging!
Tarradidle, farradidle, ging, boys, ging!

This good wife was big bellied and with a lad,
And e'er she longed for a sea crabb

The good man rise in the morning & put on his hose,
He went to the seaside & followed his nose.

Says, "Godspeed, fisherman, one sailing on the sea,
Hast thou any crabs in thy boat for to sell me?"

"I have Crabs in my boat, one, two, or three
I have crabs in my boat for to sell thee."

The good man went home & ere he wist,
And put the crab in the chamber pot where his wife pissed.

The good wife, she went to do as she was wont;
Up start the crabfish & catched her by the cunt.

"Alas!" quoth the good wife, "That ever I was born,
The devil is in the pisspot & has me on his horn!"

"If thou be a crab or a crabfish by kind,
Thou'll let thy hold go with a blast of cold wind."

The good man laid to his mouth & began for to blow,
Thinking thereby that the crab would let go.

"Alas!" quoth the good man, "that ever I came hither,
He has joined my wifes tail and my nose together!"

The good man called his neighbors in with great wonder,
To part his wives tail and his nose asunder.