Bring Me Some Whiskey
Lyrics and music Traditional
Performed by Iris & Rose on Bedtime Stories

Bring me some whiskey, mother
I'm feeling frisky, mother
Bring me a sheep for I am lonely tonight
I need a lover, mother
No, not my brother, mother
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night

Sheep never talk about it
They never ever doubt it
Always so placid, affectionate and nice
Bring me that lanolin
Better than flannel-in
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night

Owls, bats and other critters
Just seem to give me jitters
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night
Gerbils don't make it, mother
They just can't take it, mother
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night

Bring me a beast, dear mother
Nay, not the priest, dear mother
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night
Bring me a sheep, dear mother
Slip it beneath the covers
England may rule the seas, but Scotland's depraved

Alternate verses added later by others:

Some think a swine is fine
And some like a horse of course but
Those in the know, know that sheep are the best
Their fleece is soft and white
They keep you warm at night
England may rule the seas but Scotland's depraved

Call out the Glasgow bobbies
We'll teach them brand new hobbies
Bring out the sheep for I'm so loney tonight
Dollies inflatable
With morals debatable
England's a beggar, but Scotland's depraved

Notes from Daniel Womack: Whew! This one really had me gritting my teeth. Like a lot of the popular bawdy songs, there are a thousand and one verses for this tune and unfortunately very few I felt comfortable adding here. I'm pretty liberal when it comes to bawdy songs but WOW this one really left me a bit shaken. If you'd like to add in your own verses, feel free to join us in the forums! You can find me there as CZzyzx41.

And as always, if there is a song you've heard on the podcast, your local faire or just any old traditional celtic folk tune that you would like to see included you can email me at lyrics@renaissancefestivalmusic.com.