Happy Jack's Undrinkable Ale
As performed by The Poxy Boggards
On Bawdy Parts
Lyrics and music by Stu Venable
© Copyright 1992 Stu Venable
Re-published here with permission from author


Good sailors sing songs of lassies and bravery and fortune.
How the sea fills their hearts with the courage to do mighty deeds.
But I'll sing a song of a lad that I met in Jamaica,
Who tested the bravest of brave in all seven seas. It were...

Happy Jack's undrinkable ale
One mighty sup puts the wind in your sail
It's Happy Jack's undrinkable ale

Our captain once tried a tankard of Jack's mighty potion.
He seemed alright so we all went off to bed.
We awoke to the screams of our captain way up in the crow's nest.
He tried to fly with the wind and ended up dead. It were...

This ale was as dark as a night with no moon in December.
As bitter as a man who lost his pizzle in May.
As strong as six horses. As wicked and evil as Judas.
Ask the worliest drinkers of Jack's, they'll most surely say. It were...

I sailed with a lad who was tall and as wide as a mountain.
One half a pint put this sailor right down on his knees.
We watched as he turned as white as the high cliffs of Dover.
And threw up old Jack's as a gift to the might blue sea. It were...

I once tried a thimble of Jack's demonic invention.
But for the spinning I felt that I was alright.
I woke with a chicken, two ducks, a lamb and an oxen.
By the looks on their faces I must have had a good night. I smelled...

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